bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
