Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
