He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
