Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it ðŸ˜
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
