just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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