Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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