He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
