my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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