Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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