i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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