When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
