we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
