Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize