well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
