i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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