Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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