Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize