just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
