I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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