i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Even my vagina gasped.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
