Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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