So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
