I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
