Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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