when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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