So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
