hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
