is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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