lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
My feet surprised me
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