He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
