Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I touched a dick in church today
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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