yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
