She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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