That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
