Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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