office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
