I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
