i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize