i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
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