Will you blow on my dice?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
