We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
