no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
