Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
