Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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