I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
