Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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