I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I think i peed on brittanys purse
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
