Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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