Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
