its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
