who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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