Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
