That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
