O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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