i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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