How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize