the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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