so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
