i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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