I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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