But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
